covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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