im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
