He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
