I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
