I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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