I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
