My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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