I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize