I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
