there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
