I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize