I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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