I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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