I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
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The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
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Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize