So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
