That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We had to coat check the pizza.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
