This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who died my cat blue again?
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