dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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