I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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