It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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