her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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