May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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