Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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