ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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