I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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