my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
