I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
