Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
