My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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