I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
