Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
