hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
