I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
