Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
