Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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