I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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