It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize