This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
