Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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