dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
