Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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