Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
