Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
