thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Less talking, more tequila
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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