sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
