Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
