I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
