i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
