Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
