Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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