Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just cut my nipple shaving
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
