You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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