I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
