the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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