I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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