What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
