but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
