Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
two words: eviction party
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
