you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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