my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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