Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
