Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
