If that was your dad, he is hot
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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