Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
