i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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